One morning we decided it was a good idea to process some film. Things were going smoothly until the second batch wherein I opened the container to look at the negatives. Thinking I had just finished rinsing out the fixer with water I completely forgot that I just rinsed out the developer. I opened the container too early. My first thought was, "Wait a minute... this doesn't look right. It's the fixer's fault!" The seconds following that thought came with a big slap: I never added the fixer.
I will never forget that feeling that sunk deep into my heart. Not only did guilt slowly claw at me with its cold fingers but more apparent was the shame. I just sat there. Silent and numb.
Now. Why did this happen? I was distracted. Why was I distracted? I was writing a song. Why was I writing a song so early in the morning while processing film? Because I am a woman. And women multi-task. All women can multi-task. The only problem is not all women are GOOD multi-taskers.
I happen to be one of those bad women multi-taskers. I can do 3 things at once. Sadly, the outcome of the tasks would not be very impressive.
I will never forget that feeling that sunk deep into my heart. Not only did guilt slowly claw at me with its cold fingers but more apparent was the shame. I just sat there. Silent and numb.
Now. Why did this happen? I was distracted. Why was I distracted? I was writing a song. Why was I writing a song so early in the morning while processing film? Because I am a woman. And women multi-task. All women can multi-task. The only problem is not all women are GOOD multi-taskers.
I happen to be one of those bad women multi-taskers. I can do 3 things at once. Sadly, the outcome of the tasks would not be very impressive.
Speaking of being a terrible multi-tasker, the song I wrote is unimpressive. I made myself finish it since obviously the other task at hand ended in destruction.
Lessons in life: either you learn the easy way or (in my case) the hard way. This is definitely a mistake that should happen ONLY once in life. For anyone who processes film, ONCE. And then never again.
Other lessons I learned that day: My songwriting skills need improvement and I'd probably make a terrible housewife. Leave me in the kitchen with the stove on, kids running about, having to pick up the ringing phone while thinking in the back of my head, "Was I supposed to do the laundry today? Do we have any more butter? I have kids?" A picture of a burned down house with people and a dog running in the front yard in flames will be on the evening news.
Shame. It's a cruel, cruel feeling. But it can become more precious than gold when it serves as a reminder of a lesson learned.
Lessons in life: either you learn the easy way or (in my case) the hard way. This is definitely a mistake that should happen ONLY once in life. For anyone who processes film, ONCE. And then never again.
Other lessons I learned that day: My songwriting skills need improvement and I'd probably make a terrible housewife. Leave me in the kitchen with the stove on, kids running about, having to pick up the ringing phone while thinking in the back of my head, "Was I supposed to do the laundry today? Do we have any more butter? I have kids?" A picture of a burned down house with people and a dog running in the front yard in flames will be on the evening news.
Shame. It's a cruel, cruel feeling. But it can become more precious than gold when it serves as a reminder of a lesson learned.
Anna you're funny! :)
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