"Simplicity is the key to brilliance"

And Bruce Lee was right. If it isn't Chuck Norris you're listening to then it should be Bruce Lee. I decided to make a short list of things that (may) contribute to a simpler, happier life (for me anyway).  But I personally think if all these things existed it would make dealing with whatever else a little less painful. I wouldn't call this list the key to "brilliance" but I do guarantee absolute laziness and probably some weight gain.


THINGS THAT EXIST:

• A microwave.
• An oven toaster.
• Apple products and devices.
• Rendering pork fat for the perfect homemade adobo.
• A george Foreman grill.
• Lazy boys for car seats (including the driver's seat). 
• Alcohol, coffee and cigarettes.
• Sex.
• Bacon.

THINGS THAT SHOULD/MAY EXIST (if they do, let me know):

• The person on the other line getting your order and details correct the first time round.
• Insurance people that actually do their job.
• The perfect bra.
• A personal R2D2 that also serves as a mini fridge/ice cooker.
• 24 hour liquor delivery service.
• The perfect sex chair that also serves as the perfect nap chair.
• World wide fast wifi. Anytime, anywhere.
• Dogs that make perfect foot rests and/or laptop tables.
• Pet cats who are certified hair stylists.
• A closet monster that picks out your daily outfits (with good taste).
• Radio/Lamp/Lazy boy with legs.
• Pocket-sized ninja.

★ Seriously. If you really want the best out of your adobo, use real pork fat. There's no turning back after that. And for sinigang use real tamarind. 
It really isn't that difficult to do. Screw that powder crap. It isn't actually any cheaper. For any Filipino it will taste family.