Something About Fiction vs. Non-Fiction

Nov. 26 @ Manila Bay. Policeman scolding crazy guy for sleeping. Not allow.

WHAT I WISHED HAPPENED:

Police Man: Excuse me, fine gentleman. Forgive me for disturbing your afternoon nap but I noticed you from a distance and thought I'd come and take a closer look. You were interesting.

Napping Man: Well, I was having a pretty good nap, but sure. I'll entertain you for a bit since I too think I'm interesting. Come and sit by me.

PM: No. I'd rather just stand, thank you. You can admire my towering height. Oh look, people are watching. It must be because of my fancy uniform.

NM: Yes. You do look rather elegant in that uniform. The best I can do with my outfit right now is  keep my arms inside my shirt. Pretty neat, huh?

PM: Yes. That is quite smart. I would try that as well but my shirt is too tight.

NM: You should. It's like a blanket with a breeze. Good for afternoon naps. Like the one I was just having before you arrived. I wonder if I can sell this idea. I do need some cash, as you can see.

PM: ... Actually, no. I did not see. Your awesomeness got in the way.

NM: So they say, good chap. So they say...

PM: And your name is?

NM: You can call me Jesus.

PM: ... Jesus? Hey, you wouldn't happen to be...

NM: Ha! Just kidding! Got you good didn't I?

PM: You're good. Actually, you're so good you could be Jesus...

NM: Good point. I was thinking of changing my name anyway. I mean, you did say I looked interesting from a distance. And do you honestly think anyone, I mean anyone, could do what Ive done with my shirt? I mean, it's pretty amazing, don't you think?

PM: And you do just reek of pure awesomeness. And that glow...

NM: That would be due to lack of bathing. But now that I'm changing my name you can call it my aura of absolute amazing.

*grab tissue for nosebleed*

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED:

*translated from Tagalog while this was actually happening

The policeman was asking the people around if the (sleeping guy) was crazy.

Police Man: Is the guy dead? Does anyone know him? better tell me now, is he crazy? (holding on to his gun on his hip)

Police Man: Sir, excuse me sir? Sir?

This goes on for a few seconds. No reaction. Looking around. Wondering why he wasn't waking up, tugs at the "blanket". Pulls the top of the "blanket" off the guys face. Dude jumps up. The moment he saw the policeman he got himself together and sat up.

Police Man: Sir, you know you can't sleep here. You understand this?

Napping Man with a lot of drool on his face mumbled words, still waking up.

PM: Wait, do you understand that you cannot sleep here? Sir, look at me. You can't sleep here.

NM: I don't know. I was sleepy.

PM: But you can't sleep here. Ok? I am duly informing you as a citizen and I as a law enforcer that it is illegal for you to be sleeping here.

Napping Man mumbles some more. LOTS OF DROOL.

PM: Wait, are you crazy, sir? Do you understand me?

NM: No. no. no... I'm not crazy. (shaking head with lots of drool going everywhere)

PM: No, you're crazy.

NM: No, no, I'm not crazy—

PM: It wasn't a question. I am duly informing you sir, that you are indeed crazy. Do you understand this, sir?

NM: Yes.

PM: Ok. So we agree that you are indeed crazy. You have to understand this, it's okay to lie here on the grass but you can't sleep here.

NM: But I'm not sleeping. You woke me up.

PM: But you were asleep before I woke you up, were you not?

NM: Yes, but I'm awake now.

PM: Sir, you're the one who's crazy. I'm just telling you you can't sleep here. So are we good now? Everyone, no cause for alarm. And you, don't sleep here, ok, sir?

NM: Okay.

I really should stop trying sometimes and just go with it.
Too late.